It happened one day when I was in college, minding my own business, deeply engrossed in reading something posted on one of the campus bulletin boards near Bruin Walk. Suddenly some guy rushed up to me and, without warning, shouted something like, “Did you know you’re going to hell?”

Huh? We were complete strangers, and he had startled me.

“You’re going to hell!” he sounded even more worked up.

“You don’t even know me,” I retorted. “Leave me alone.” And I hurried away, not bothering to tell him that, if he’d actually engaged in conversation rather than accosting me rudely, maybe he wouldn’t have been as convinced of my eternal damnation. As I walked off, he was shouting some abbreviated version of what he thought was the gospel.

I wish I could say that this young, misguided zealot was the only person I’ve ever encountered who thought one should abandon all manners, decorum, and any hint of pleasantness in order to share the gospel. He may have been an extreme case, but I’ve since run across all sorts of people who seem to think “witnessing” requires rudeness, confrontation, argumentativeness, accusations, a judgmental attitude, and a lack of integrity.

Years ago, my brother described someone he knew as a “used car salesman for God”. That person wasn’t actually a used car salesman; instead, his entire witnessing spiel was reminiscent of the worst stereotype of a used car salesman — someone who didn’t care about the person or the car, but just wanted to close the sale.

“But I don’t want anyone to go to hell!” the overly zealous ones are apt to say. So they pretend to take fake surveys as an excuse to get people to talk to them…
…or they shout at strangers…
…or they keep talking to someone sitting next to them on a plane, even after that person has asked them to please let them sleep…
…or they ask nosy, probing — and even creepy — questions of someone whose name they haven’t bothered to ask…
…or they refer to people using derogatory terms…
…or they interrupt conversations…
…or they insult people’s intelligence, religious beliefs, and character…
…or they insist that their “target” is being deceived by Satan..
…or they insist on debating whoever it is that they just randomly accosted on the street…

I’ve heard the argument that, if the building caught on fire, good manners should be dispensed with, in order to alert everyone to the danger about to consume them. But Christians I’ve known who minister to those on their deathbeds have never felt the need to present the gospel with anything but the utmost charity.

Recently I heard someone make the comment, “Apologetics doesn’t convert people; love does.” The rude, confrontational, argumentative people who have tried to witness to me certainly didn’t give me any reason to believe that they were motivated by love. Often, instead, I felt as if they were motivated by anything but love.

But isn’t it better to share the gospel awkwardly, even rudely, than not to share it at all?

The same year that the rude guy accosted me on campus, shouting that I was going to hell, I was sitting quietly in a chapel near campus, grieving over a loss. There was a young man praying nearby. He finally came over, excused himself, offered me a kleenex, and shyly and semi-awkwardly asked if he could pray for me. It was the sweetest thing. I don’t remember his name or even how he looked… just that I felt his compassion and, because of that, I saw Jesus in him.

…but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence… 1 Peter 3:15

Edited to add this addendum:

Years ago at work, a new coworker came into my office with a question, first thing on a Monday morning. I made some joking comment about “How can you be so cheerful on a Monday?” She quipped something humorous in reply and went on her way.

Maybe ten minutes later, she was back. She asked if she could give me a more serious answer to my question, and then she briefly told me that she had attended a Christian conference that had changed her life.

It was such a wonderful example of 1 Peter 3:15.